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Am I Jealous???

November 3, 2008

Musical Mood : Zindagi Zindagi

 

For the first time in my Life, I am Jealous!!! (Or I think that this is being Jealous!!)L

I had a long rather frustrating day yesterday, which made me fast asleep, and so I was in office early this morning! (I don’t have much stuff to do at home.)
I was having a chat with my manager (a typical English morning chat you know!) wherein the topic of retirement and old age care homes came up. He was telling about his Dad…(I have no idea how old he might me coz my manager himself is 60)….
This was when suddenly I realised I was thinking “Ohh Dear!! He is 60 and he still has his Dad alive!! Man he is lucky! His dad must be in his late 80’s or early 90’s and is still alive to see his son’s growth!! And my Dad could not see me and my brother growing :(!
…. 

 

Am I jealous?????

I have never had a thought like this before!! I am so SURPRISED by my own thought!! Of course I deleted it quickly from my small brain, but still am so surprised.
All these years, I was thinking the natural age span of a person is his 50’s!! Imagine!! I was so STUPID!! I believed it’s would be a wonder if I live till my 45’s. I was sort of almost sure my lifetime would be maximum 40…No not because I don’t live any further but because I thought that’s the natural age (lifespan declines from gen to gen you know, given the conditions at home!!)!!
And today, I just realised…. It’s not just the case for everyone!!
“Ufff…me…I didn’t realise this fact sooo long!!”

 

PS: And ya, I shall wipe that J out now…. Doosron ko nazar nahi lagna chahiye…. wiase meri nazar achhi…….. Brings prosperity!(Little angel you  know!!)

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. November 3, 2008 2:56 pm

    Death can take me whenever he feels that he has given me enough time on the planet 😐

  2. smallstar permalink
    November 3, 2008 4:28 pm

    Oh, sorry to know that your feeling is Jealousy… I perfectly can understand you, but… Don’t u believe it could be right thinking that our life sooner or later will have a end?? I don’t want be rude, believe me… I just wanna be realistic.

    *HUGS*

  3. November 3, 2008 5:04 pm

    @Raj : I also agree with you and I feel that way too…I am not scared of death but just for a flick of second I felt How I wish My Dad lived few more years…….missing Him 😦

    @Small star :

    I understand, that life and death are like two sides of a coin…..May be I portrayed it wrong…..I felt Jealous (or I think its jealous)…….not that they lived so long…….somehow felt for a sec, instead of people struggling to live in their 90’s God could have given a young person a few more years….I quickly wiped that thought ….Its very unlike me…..and I know its bad 😦

  4. November 3, 2008 6:55 pm

    Yes, Sahaja, I understand, its very sad 😦

  5. November 3, 2008 7:05 pm

    Why, jealousy is a positive emotion.

    In this case, it shows how deeply you love value your family.
    I know you are secretly proud of such little jealousies.

  6. November 3, 2008 7:21 pm

    @ Swaps : I dont know Swaps, I felt a bit surprised and amused at my own thought……Its like out of surprise I thought, “Oh my God….hez still alive at 80″…..thats such a bad thing na 😦

  7. smallstar permalink
    November 3, 2008 11:50 pm

    Oh… I have perfectly understood what you are sayin’… But don’t worry. I think it is nornal to feel a bit jealous about facts like this… Also for a second! 😉

    *HUGS*

  8. November 4, 2008 5:02 am

    “Its like out of surprise I thought, “Oh my God….hez still alive at 80″…..thats such a bad thing na”

    No. Only natural. I have such thoughts too. I always tell them (“Nice to see you healthy”) and they are delighted.

  9. November 4, 2008 10:07 am

    I really dont think what you felt should be shunned away.. yu missed your dad, and that perfectly normal! I do too! And sometimes when i look at my mom, i feel even more strongly that he should have lived a little more! But how much is that “little” is undifinable!! 😦 And i miss my dad too!!

  10. November 4, 2008 10:45 am

    Oh My dear Sahaja,
    Tears filled my eyes while reading this. i can exactly understand your feeling. It’s not the feeling of jealousy but your little mind, for that matter anyone would think, if that man could live for more than 80 years why not our dearest ones? It was abrupt and might not be the time to depart as he did not even see his children growing up. Though death is inevitable, we think that way.. if only he/she was there for few more years……..

    If the death occurs at an old age when all the responsibilities are fulfilled it is totally different picture. I am really so sad for you, but i appreciate your courage, innocence, inquisitiveness and above all you are a sweet angel yourself. You deserve the best in this world.

    Sailaja

  11. November 4, 2008 4:40 pm

    hmmm.. dont know what to say…as long as you live..live happily 🙂

  12. November 4, 2008 8:02 pm

    Don’t worry. It’s not jealous. Everybody wants their loved and dear ones to see their growth and share their happiness. Its normal.

  13. November 5, 2008 6:55 am

    why are u surprised .??
    jealousy is one of the many emotions we have,.ITs perfectly normal ..
    and more than jealousy u missed ur dad .. we can understand it …
    God Bless you !

  14. November 5, 2008 11:06 pm

    @ All : Thanks a lot guys 🙂

    @ Swaps – Ya….its so nice to see them healthy…

    @ Sakhi — Thanks Sakhi…..as you said, how big is that little is undefinable :)….

    @Sailaja aunty – Thanks a lot Aunty…..Mee lanti pedda valla blessings undadam adrushtam

    @Sharad…– true…..as long as we live, live happily

    @ Kanagu — I never felt like that before,dats y felt odd

    @ Aravind – Thanks aravind……

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